Questionable Sensations

Why is it that I’ll refuse to die?
It’s just a will to breathe the hot gas of the world;
I seek your approval, yet tear you apart if you praise me-
Lies, lies; we must fail pseudo-sacrifice:
A mess, a confusion of flesh in my palm-
I squeeze it and ring it dry; good bye, my doves.
Excruciation, my affairs with you are vague-
Like daydreams through a sickly candy windowpane;
The world is now within me, I breathe what suffocates,
Thus asphyxiate myself because to pity will disgust me

Every night I cry ravaging my womb:
The infiltrations make caesareans into sections;
Force-feeding myself into tasteless barrenness and gross isolation,  
Only those parasites of my own uterus appear to satisfy.
And we look into the fire seeing water on our eyes:
It burns until it freezes time itself-
Licking the lollipop pane of sugared salts I weep;
Memories will frown, I taste bittersweet elements:
Heaven! erotically asphyxiate me as I contort between them!-
Charming! So suspend me with mirrors most divine!

These paper lungs, such frail amniotic pockets they do form
And my fluids force me to secrete distorted wisdom.
For, those who cannot breathe- know you are envied
By a creature of nutritious cannibals.

I tried to open both our eyes- I have but two hands;
Vainly did I comfort you to ignore the lightest pain;
You are the horse that came to water; I can only drink what’s left-
Lay in the marsh your succulent juices whilst I sank below the sand.